Winter is officially here, and with it comes snow to join the cold and the dark. At least my sleeping patterns have become somewhat orthodox. Although, it's a little too late to make a difference. Especially where my mood is concerned. I'd hoped to get into the holiday spirit by now. There's nothing yet.
I'm still living off of distractions, and they've been narrowed down to songs that do nothing but exacerbate the ho-hum running through my body. And a recent introspective crisis, not unlike the first, certainly hasn't had a welcome effect. I've come to realize the mistake of the bridges I'd burned. I've been trying to rebuild them, but the process isn't going as I'd hoped. As lightning quick as modern technology allows us to communicate, it's still so slow and removed as to seem cruel.
I don't know what to do. I have the will, but lack the ability. I just can't get it right. That second, most important step eludes me still. A forthrightness is required, but at the same time, you can't force anyone to act. They must arrive on their own. And when you don't even know if they want to, it becomes all the more excruciating.
Playing it cool gets you nowhere. You'd become a victim of your own trappings. You're not trying to pick someone up. You're extending your hand and hoping that someone reciprocates. And when you extend that hand, only to have it ignored, you feel more the fool than ever. But you owe it to yourself, and you owe it to them. So you try.
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