And as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. I may never know what caused it, and I can only say who helped it go away. But away it has gone. In an instant, Depression and Jealousy in all their forms roared to life in violent design, only to crest one night--crushing and shrieking--a month later. Whatever emotive switch was carelessly flipped has now been returned to its natural position.
But with my freshly achieved quiescence, zen-like in its neutrality, has come a transfer of roles. Chinks have begun to eat away the armor of some of the very characters I considered my paladins. Defects I thought paltry in the light of their vigor have now been exposed, and it's all I can do to quell the erosion. I find myself needing to play champion to the same people who had so soon before aided in my own recovery! My surprise matched only by my sympathy and eagerness to support.
The miserable journey I seem to have recently completed also lead to unforeseen treasures. If I have learned one thing, it is not the bitter taste of nihilism, but a lesson honeyed by newfound cognizance. I understand like never before the importance of certain people in my life. There are bonds I now share that wouldn't exist today had it not been for the experience of the past month. And there are bonds I held before that have reached an elevation I never imagined. For the first time in my life I can say that I have close friends. I have relationships so genuine and sincere as to seem sensationalized; people so kindred that I actually feel I can tell them anything, and probably will.
Such were the gifts given me without hesitation. And now it is the least I can do to offer that same affinity I've come to treasure so dearly.
Sunday, March 1
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