I've been in ruts before, but I've never hit a wall like this. The kind where every part of my brain shuts down. Except for the parts that control introspection and sentiments. It seems like all the energy that was being welled by the inoperable sections was re-routed to those two remaining faculties, increasing productivity ten fold. My emotional oscilloscope has gone from a steady line to an ever-changing landscape of high peaks and cavernous valleys.
One day might be signified by weeping brought on by a deep sadness, while the next sees me struggling to maintain my composure as my eyes grow increasingly teary in exaltation, only to again succumb to intense depression the following evening. Needless to say, I've been having a rough time of it. I've never felt this way before. Sure, I've been sad, and on occasion I've cried. But I'm not used to this. A straight week of feeling every bad emotion, all at the same time, is more than I've ever dealt with before, and more than I can handle on my own.
Which is why I sought the compassion of friends. Some of them I speak to often, others I hadn't spoken to in years. Each one shiny, unique, and important to me. Each one a source of inspiration and discipline. I care for them dearly. And it is from their benevolence that I find strength.
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